Sometimes
when i am lying in bed
in my cosy red and white doll's house of a flat
with its old windows to the street outside
I close my eyes
and listen to the sounds around me...
the hum of life in this city of 20 million
the yelling in a language I still don’t understand
the sounds of drilling
of building
of growth
a pace I can’t keep up with
laughter
bicycle bells ringing
children crying in the lane
the street cleaner truck on its nightly routine
or hearing the neighbours practicing the piano
or watching the news on full volume
the sound of the wok
and the faint smell of smokey kebabs from the street vendor outside
I lay there
in my hard bed
(that is supposed to be good for me)
and I see the street light shadow on my wall
and I feel in that moment as if I am lying in the hollow of a beautiful hand
an infinitesimal speck
in a gigantic, living, breathing body
so huge
so vast
that I can never fathom it
or my place within it
But I feel safe
lying there
Protected
listening...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
travel story no 2
So Beijing,
train ride up… my first time on an overnight sleeper train.
I share a room with 6 others, sleeping on single hard bunk type beds that are three beds high on either side.
At first I walk in and I’m surrounded by guys all about my age. In most other countries that has the potential to be slightly awkward, but in china, as a foreign female you don’t feel that at all, so that was refreshing. I can’t deny that at first I was like ‘uh-oh, this is going to be weird’ but after a little bit of chit chat we were laughing and talking away through broken English and the odd Chinese word from Chantelle!!
It never ceases to amaze me how you can go from being perfect strangers with people to having the most in-depth, profound and engaging conversation, from the need to balance material progress with spiritual progress (which is a concept widely written in chinese school texts books they told me! ‘but we don’t know how to do it!’ my friend said very honestly). They asked me about my background and so of course the Baha’i Faith came up, and all five of them were most intrigued. I pulled out the ol lap-top with the bi-lingual introduction of Anna’s on it, and went through it with them. One kept mentioning how he forces himself to read one book a week because he is searching for something, he wants a purpose but always feels so unsatisfied after finishing the books, wanting something more…so we spoke more, showed them pictures from Haifa and the shrines, and by that time it was getting onto 1am in the morning and we were all tired through all the excitement.
I woke up at 7.30am, to see my friend across the aisle from me, deep in thought, as if he had been mediating on everything we had been talking about the entire night
‘did u sleep well?’
‘no, it was so noisy and I couldn’t stop thinking about what you were saying’
Just then the breakfast cart came passed, and we got a serving each of rice pudding, some pickled vegetables and the pearliest white bread roll I have ever seen. As we were eating this rather tasteless breakfast he continued to tell me about his own relationship with Chinese philosophies such as Lao Tze, his upbringing in Inner Mongolia with no electricity and just candle light...fascinating stuff. Time was running short as the train arrived into Beijing Station, but as Chinese do, he made sure I got to where I needed to get to, and exchanged numbers
‘If you have the time, I would like to know more about the Faith, please come to my home to meet my wife and family and we can cook you dinner.’
So on Saturday night my friend and I went to his home, at the very northern outskirts of Beijing, and from 5.30pm to 10pm had an incredibly rich fire-side with the family, ate swan his mother made for us (poor thing, but tasted good!!)
This time the conversation was mostly in Chinese, my friend being practically fluent after living in China for three years, but it was great for me to just sit back and witness the energy exchange. I gave him Paris Talks, and his wife a prayer book and they were so happy. I have never met such a loving, gentle, pure couple in all my life. The way they spoke to each other…I knew this family was special. They hope to study ruhi book one with my friend who lives in Beijing!! Sooo inspiring to meet such open hearts from a simple conversation with a stranger on a train!!
So yes, that was my train adventure on the way up, coming back...a less positive experience as I missed the train and ended up being late for work the next day…eek. Oh well victory and crisis!!
Beijing in general has a whole different feel to Shanghai I found. Much more calm, relaxed, less about ‘high fashion’ and money, and more about the good things in life – community.
Now, reading back on this after being back in Shanghai for a week, my view is changing. Today my neighbour knocked on my front door and introduced me to his family for the first time, and invited me over for dinner. So really, it depends on your attitude at the time…but back on to Beijing,I cant deny it though, I felt really good there, it has a different energy about it... and I got to participate in a workshop with Hua Dan, this fantastic social action theatre company working with migrants from other provinces in China, using drama as a way for them to express themselves during the biggest urbanisation process the world has ever seen. The workshop was with young women, late teen’s early 20’s who were chosen from the poorest families in the poorest villages to come to a technical training school to learn skills such as typing or hair-dressing to help them find work in the cities, rather than come to the cities (as everyone is doing ON MASS in china) with no skills and no potential for work. It was a gorgeous workshop, the first one in a series of eight 3hr weekly workshops, so full of trust games and team-building activities. It’s a pretty new thing for China to have a group such as Hua Dan doing social-action based theatre like this, and you can tell the participants are thirsty for it.
All in all, a fantastic weekend in Beijing (even though I missed the train on the way back…loooong story)
train ride up… my first time on an overnight sleeper train.
I share a room with 6 others, sleeping on single hard bunk type beds that are three beds high on either side.
At first I walk in and I’m surrounded by guys all about my age. In most other countries that has the potential to be slightly awkward, but in china, as a foreign female you don’t feel that at all, so that was refreshing. I can’t deny that at first I was like ‘uh-oh, this is going to be weird’ but after a little bit of chit chat we were laughing and talking away through broken English and the odd Chinese word from Chantelle!!
It never ceases to amaze me how you can go from being perfect strangers with people to having the most in-depth, profound and engaging conversation, from the need to balance material progress with spiritual progress (which is a concept widely written in chinese school texts books they told me! ‘but we don’t know how to do it!’ my friend said very honestly). They asked me about my background and so of course the Baha’i Faith came up, and all five of them were most intrigued. I pulled out the ol lap-top with the bi-lingual introduction of Anna’s on it, and went through it with them. One kept mentioning how he forces himself to read one book a week because he is searching for something, he wants a purpose but always feels so unsatisfied after finishing the books, wanting something more…so we spoke more, showed them pictures from Haifa and the shrines, and by that time it was getting onto 1am in the morning and we were all tired through all the excitement.
I woke up at 7.30am, to see my friend across the aisle from me, deep in thought, as if he had been mediating on everything we had been talking about the entire night
‘did u sleep well?’
‘no, it was so noisy and I couldn’t stop thinking about what you were saying’
Just then the breakfast cart came passed, and we got a serving each of rice pudding, some pickled vegetables and the pearliest white bread roll I have ever seen. As we were eating this rather tasteless breakfast he continued to tell me about his own relationship with Chinese philosophies such as Lao Tze, his upbringing in Inner Mongolia with no electricity and just candle light...fascinating stuff. Time was running short as the train arrived into Beijing Station, but as Chinese do, he made sure I got to where I needed to get to, and exchanged numbers
‘If you have the time, I would like to know more about the Faith, please come to my home to meet my wife and family and we can cook you dinner.’
So on Saturday night my friend and I went to his home, at the very northern outskirts of Beijing, and from 5.30pm to 10pm had an incredibly rich fire-side with the family, ate swan his mother made for us (poor thing, but tasted good!!)
This time the conversation was mostly in Chinese, my friend being practically fluent after living in China for three years, but it was great for me to just sit back and witness the energy exchange. I gave him Paris Talks, and his wife a prayer book and they were so happy. I have never met such a loving, gentle, pure couple in all my life. The way they spoke to each other…I knew this family was special. They hope to study ruhi book one with my friend who lives in Beijing!! Sooo inspiring to meet such open hearts from a simple conversation with a stranger on a train!!
So yes, that was my train adventure on the way up, coming back...a less positive experience as I missed the train and ended up being late for work the next day…eek. Oh well victory and crisis!!
Beijing in general has a whole different feel to Shanghai I found. Much more calm, relaxed, less about ‘high fashion’ and money, and more about the good things in life – community.
Now, reading back on this after being back in Shanghai for a week, my view is changing. Today my neighbour knocked on my front door and introduced me to his family for the first time, and invited me over for dinner. So really, it depends on your attitude at the time…but back on to Beijing,I cant deny it though, I felt really good there, it has a different energy about it... and I got to participate in a workshop with Hua Dan, this fantastic social action theatre company working with migrants from other provinces in China, using drama as a way for them to express themselves during the biggest urbanisation process the world has ever seen. The workshop was with young women, late teen’s early 20’s who were chosen from the poorest families in the poorest villages to come to a technical training school to learn skills such as typing or hair-dressing to help them find work in the cities, rather than come to the cities (as everyone is doing ON MASS in china) with no skills and no potential for work. It was a gorgeous workshop, the first one in a series of eight 3hr weekly workshops, so full of trust games and team-building activities. It’s a pretty new thing for China to have a group such as Hua Dan doing social-action based theatre like this, and you can tell the participants are thirsty for it.
All in all, a fantastic weekend in Beijing (even though I missed the train on the way back…loooong story)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
she's back...finally!
Yes mum. Here I am, with finger to keyboard. Finally. She has been emailing me for awhile to remind me!!
Its been a ridiculous amount of time in between blogs. And really, there is no reason, yes life is busy, but it always has been, and yes loads of things happened in the last few months – I’m trying to remember the key moments… a lot of traveling, it began with a trip to Hefei, the capital of Anhui Province about three hours north of Shanghai on speed train, where I met the only foreign Baha’i in that ‘small town’ of 4.3 million in Chinese standards, who showered me with warmth and hospitality, and the best Persian food I have had for a long time!!!!
How to sum up that experience? I don’t know what it is about Hefei, but it has a very special feeling. It is a lot less materially developed than Shanghai and people would stop dead in their tracks when they saw you, a foreigner, on the streets. I remember a young boy, of about 13, coming right up to the window of the car I just got into and peering in, hands cupped around his eyes to see if it was for real, so absolutely astounded to see a blonde (well sort of..) blue eyed girl in front of him. And you really did not see foreigners ANYWHERE. Compared with Shanghai that was quite a shock and very refreshing!!! The people were soooo curious, and those that I had the chance to sit down and chat to were the most open-hearted, honest people I have met to date. A young girl had come to join us for lunch, and she would tell me how she often feels this emptiness in her life, that it’s lacking some sort of purpose which she is craving for, so when she met my Baha’i friend she felt like this could direct her in someway. This was basically two minutes into the first conversation I had with her! And that bare honesty is something I truly truly honor and admire, and it seems to come in droves in China!
I also had the bounty to meet the Chinese Baha’i’s in Hefei, the morning after I arrived a group of us visited the grave of the first foreign Baha'i in Hefei who lived there less than 10years ago, said prayers together, cried together and then ate together. Those three seem to go hand in hand. It was quite the bonding experience!
It was in one of those typical chinese restaurants, with a private room, with never ending dishes coming every ten seconds! So much laughter and joy after a more quiet, reflective morning. Then it was time to watch the ‘Wayfarer’ dvd at my friend’s home with everyone. One of them commented to me after,
“I am so deeply moved by seeing your service in Haifa, and your dedication to the Faith. It makes me realize that I must do more.”
Do more. I think we all have that battle, ‘I could be doing more’ ‘I’m wasting time’, but everything is service, really, its all a matter of attitude. I know I constantly have that battle inside myself and also to know how to balance your activities with the things that you have to do for yourself...i'm still trying to find the line!! Anyway back to Hefei...
They were excited to learn about the children’s classes going on in my neighbourhood in Shanghai and planned to start their own. It felt like this entire journey was pre-planned, like the learning that I was getting from starting the children’s classes in Shanghai, I could then bring and share with the friends in Hefei who happened to be finishing book 3 the weekend of my visit. The whole trip flowed so naturally, and really charged me up more than anything. Sometimes the energy of a big commercial city like Shanghai can get to you, well at least to me, sometimes I feel like one energetic sponge picking up on this and that, so going to Hefei, a place where I could see the real china, it felt like being a battery being re-charged.
A Chinese friend told me she felt the same thing, having just traveled there recently, she described it as:
“In Auhui province people are especially open and curious, more real. If I can say humble it might come from the fact that they are not very rich, because for thousands of years there has been natural flood disasters, so there has not been a lot of commercial development. In that province many famous scholars and nation leaders are born. ”
No wonder! I can’t even imagine that, living somewhere that for thousands and thousands of years has struggled to get out of poverty, and still struggles today. What kind of mind-set would that develop in people? In some cultures it could create a sense of ‘stuck-ness’ or bitterness or perhaps resentment. But obviously in Anhui, and in China in general, the result is a strong thirst and burning drive in people to acquire knowledge and the skills needed to improve their lives, and their land. That is where the Baha’i teachings really come in to the picture.
As I sat on the train ride home on Sunday night, exhausted and with a big belly of Chinese and Persian food, I felt so content, re-energized, and then the lady sitting next to me offered her dinner to me – another beautiful gesture from a culture that really gets into your heart. But I had to decline…I had enough in storage for months! hehe
Hefei…a place I DEFINITELY recommend those of you thinking about moving to China to consider, it may not have the ‘glam’ and western comfort of Shanghai but it has something more intangible and satisfying in the air!!
ok, so that was travel experience no 1. more to come.
Its been a ridiculous amount of time in between blogs. And really, there is no reason, yes life is busy, but it always has been, and yes loads of things happened in the last few months – I’m trying to remember the key moments… a lot of traveling, it began with a trip to Hefei, the capital of Anhui Province about three hours north of Shanghai on speed train, where I met the only foreign Baha’i in that ‘small town’ of 4.3 million in Chinese standards, who showered me with warmth and hospitality, and the best Persian food I have had for a long time!!!!
How to sum up that experience? I don’t know what it is about Hefei, but it has a very special feeling. It is a lot less materially developed than Shanghai and people would stop dead in their tracks when they saw you, a foreigner, on the streets. I remember a young boy, of about 13, coming right up to the window of the car I just got into and peering in, hands cupped around his eyes to see if it was for real, so absolutely astounded to see a blonde (well sort of..) blue eyed girl in front of him. And you really did not see foreigners ANYWHERE. Compared with Shanghai that was quite a shock and very refreshing!!! The people were soooo curious, and those that I had the chance to sit down and chat to were the most open-hearted, honest people I have met to date. A young girl had come to join us for lunch, and she would tell me how she often feels this emptiness in her life, that it’s lacking some sort of purpose which she is craving for, so when she met my Baha’i friend she felt like this could direct her in someway. This was basically two minutes into the first conversation I had with her! And that bare honesty is something I truly truly honor and admire, and it seems to come in droves in China!
I also had the bounty to meet the Chinese Baha’i’s in Hefei, the morning after I arrived a group of us visited the grave of the first foreign Baha'i in Hefei who lived there less than 10years ago, said prayers together, cried together and then ate together. Those three seem to go hand in hand. It was quite the bonding experience!
It was in one of those typical chinese restaurants, with a private room, with never ending dishes coming every ten seconds! So much laughter and joy after a more quiet, reflective morning. Then it was time to watch the ‘Wayfarer’ dvd at my friend’s home with everyone. One of them commented to me after,
“I am so deeply moved by seeing your service in Haifa, and your dedication to the Faith. It makes me realize that I must do more.”
Do more. I think we all have that battle, ‘I could be doing more’ ‘I’m wasting time’, but everything is service, really, its all a matter of attitude. I know I constantly have that battle inside myself and also to know how to balance your activities with the things that you have to do for yourself...i'm still trying to find the line!! Anyway back to Hefei...
They were excited to learn about the children’s classes going on in my neighbourhood in Shanghai and planned to start their own. It felt like this entire journey was pre-planned, like the learning that I was getting from starting the children’s classes in Shanghai, I could then bring and share with the friends in Hefei who happened to be finishing book 3 the weekend of my visit. The whole trip flowed so naturally, and really charged me up more than anything. Sometimes the energy of a big commercial city like Shanghai can get to you, well at least to me, sometimes I feel like one energetic sponge picking up on this and that, so going to Hefei, a place where I could see the real china, it felt like being a battery being re-charged.
A Chinese friend told me she felt the same thing, having just traveled there recently, she described it as:
“In Auhui province people are especially open and curious, more real. If I can say humble it might come from the fact that they are not very rich, because for thousands of years there has been natural flood disasters, so there has not been a lot of commercial development. In that province many famous scholars and nation leaders are born. ”
No wonder! I can’t even imagine that, living somewhere that for thousands and thousands of years has struggled to get out of poverty, and still struggles today. What kind of mind-set would that develop in people? In some cultures it could create a sense of ‘stuck-ness’ or bitterness or perhaps resentment. But obviously in Anhui, and in China in general, the result is a strong thirst and burning drive in people to acquire knowledge and the skills needed to improve their lives, and their land. That is where the Baha’i teachings really come in to the picture.
As I sat on the train ride home on Sunday night, exhausted and with a big belly of Chinese and Persian food, I felt so content, re-energized, and then the lady sitting next to me offered her dinner to me – another beautiful gesture from a culture that really gets into your heart. But I had to decline…I had enough in storage for months! hehe
Hefei…a place I DEFINITELY recommend those of you thinking about moving to China to consider, it may not have the ‘glam’ and western comfort of Shanghai but it has something more intangible and satisfying in the air!!
ok, so that was travel experience no 1. more to come.
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