Naw Ruz and Nose Bleeds

its the new year and im lying in bed with a bleeding nose.
its 30 degrees outside and i cant figure out if i have a fever or if its just the unexpected heatwave.

mum' attempt to make me feel better, via webcam

Mum: Dont feel sad. Think of lassie (my old collie)
Me: She's dead.
Mum: No she's not. She's everywhere.
Me: She's dead.
Mum: Dont say that. Can't you feel her warm fluffy fur?

My mum.
Gotta love her optimism. And this conversation certainly cheered me up.
I remember she used to collect bags of Lassie's fur in the hope of one day making a jersey out of it. Yes. That's right. Wear your dog as a top. The latest fashion of Lower Hutt in 1993. I remember the stench. Bags and Bags of golden brown collie fur in New World plastic bags sitting in our rumpus room by Lassie's mason and pearson brush. The brush was the most expensive one in the house. Lassie was a show dog so she had to have the best.
Yes, i come from the Hutt.
The ultimate apparel. Dressed as your dog.
There was a lady who would actually make the jersey's out of your dog's fur. She had a stall at the dog show's we entered Lassie into (it was my dream as a 11 year old to be the Young Dog-handler of the Year, never quite got there cos Lassie had a limp).
Back to the fur lady, she would spin it herself. All you had to do was supply the fur. She sported one from her german short haired pointer. He must be bauld.
Oh the joys of dogs and dog shows. Lassie, you made my nose bleed stop. Rest in Peace my furry friend.

Staring at the sun

5.15am. Blurry dreams. Reflecting on last night, alone in the room of Baha'u'llah at the Mansion of Bahji, the smell of the lamp oil, the flickers of light on the white sheets.
The tranquility I felt. As if conversing with Him, alone in His presence...then dream-hop to another space and time, laughing, discussing passionately something I cannot remember with someone I cannot recall, only those insignificant details like his long brown fringe waving about his face as he spoke... disjointed, bitsy, deep, light, irreverant, all over the show... then I abruptly wake up to a knock on the door, my beautiful flatmate Claudine greets me with 'Time to eat Chantelle!' We both laugh as I leap up in my dishevelled state, and head for the kitchen. The birds outside our window greeted us while we warmed up Cameroonian style black beans and rice, my fast breakfast special!
We ate together in our living room, Smith & Dragoman playing in the background as I sip my last few sips of water for 11 hours. We are buzzing with excitement, sharing our hopes for the Fasting time. A time to draw nearer to Source, to cleanse not only physically but spiritually. I can't stop thinking about how hugely significant fasting is to our spiritual development, as important as the Sun to humanity, without which we cannot survive.

"Verily, the religion of God is like unto heaven; fasting is its sun, and obligitory prayer is its moon. In truth, they are the pillars of religion..."

Baha'u'llah

The relationship between the two, the connection of sun and moon, fascinates me.

In some ways you would think obligitory prayer would be the sun, being something that is with you every day, a reminder, a daily check-in to your purpose of existence in this world, "to know Thee and to worship Thee". But in this case obligitory prayer is the moon, which orbits the sun, fasting.

I stopped studying science in 5th form, as you can tell, hehe, but i love just visualising this whole process, and the parallels between science and religion, even on the most simple of levels, like this diagram, straight from a school text book. The Sun, the Fast at the centre of it all. Obligitory Prayer, the moon, revolving around it. Fasting is the sun, the writings talk about the Heat generated during the Fast, the burning fire of the love of God that should be ablaze within you... The ultimate expression of prayer, 19 days devoted to close communion with your Creator, re-connecting, drawing nearer, battery re-charging for the year ahead. Obligitory prayer feeds you, little bit by little bit until the following year where you need to re-fuel again.... Fasting seems a bit like the marathon event that the orbit of obligitory prayer has been training you for.

Spring-cleaning, phsyically and spiritually. Re-arranging everything. I have this sudden urge to empty out all my cupboards, re-arrange my bedroom, throw away old clothes. Just like how I want to do with my all thoughts, my habits, my goals. What do my thoughts fixate around, what is productive, what is blocking or preventing me from moving forward? What do I need to re-arrange within myself?
I am going to start with the physical as the two are a reflection of the other. perhaps if my bedroom is organised, my mind may begin to mirror...hehe