growing pains

sitting at 'costa coffee' on huaihui road near my flat. using their wireless cos i havent had a chance to set mine up yet...so many details to do, so little time..listening to pimsler mandarin in my head phones. trying to learn this language. feeling overwhelmed by how much i have to go, 'wo shaw der boo hao' i speak badly..yes its true..

feeling like im adusting slowly...i have a love hate relationship at the moment with shanghai. i love the organised chaos (at times!), the bikers everywhere, the 20cent soya milk drinks and dumplings on the way to the school shuttle bus, the villagers and their deep smiles as they try to sell me grapes from their hanging baskets, the scraping metal sound from the street stall cooking on her wok outside my window at 11pm at night, the grandad and grandma's doing their tai chi in the park on mass, or carrying their precious grandchilden in their arms rocking them to sleep.

you see such poverty here its heart wrenching. there is a family that lives under the stairs by the metro stop near my school, actually UNDER the stairs, they get inside through a small crack. then there is the two chickens that casually trot around as people walk past in their high heels. the children bathing in tiny blue plastic baths outside. an entire house built out of old mattresses, to form a hut, when smack bang next door is a massive high rise apartment block. country meets city.
the city is moving at a crazy pace. i met some geologists from nz yesterday, they tell me shanghai is sinking, they can tell even walking out of a new metro stop, the water seeping through the cracks...sky scrapers everywhere...what is the rush? why does a city have to prove itself by racing skyward when in the shadows people are homeless and struggling to survive.
every big city has these same problems and contrasts...its just so disgusting at times to see materialism running rampant here, taking over like the worse disease you could think of, eating in the vitals of the human race.

but amongst all the sadness there is this joy, this beauty and simplicity of living. the sense of community is still alive and well even in a city of 30million or so..The mid autumn full moon festival seemed to capture the essence of it. they celebrate it as the moon in its fullness symbolises unity of family, and along huaihui rd, the materialist street of gucci, prada, you name it, held on saturday a gorgeous parade celebrating all the nationalities in shanghai, all parading on floats in their costumes...it was beautiful, and again, that concept of unity and diversity so built into their culture ...makes me smile....

feeling tired. teaching kids is exhausting at times. but im beginning to enjoy it. and my matress is like a rock. thats the way it is in china. sleep on a plank it feels like! im sure its great for my back but just a bit of softness is good...hehe. its all about toughening up over here in someways..and there is that part of me inside that is resisting , that wants to give up because im not seeing 'results' like i thought i would see. i want it all know, study circles, friends, a grasp of the language, how to teach drama to 6 year old kids who see me one hour a week and go wild... its about trust, and prayer...really thats all i have to cling to, everything else is moving at such a rapid speed and seems to transient...
if you are reading this and in haifa, please think of me...and say a wee prayer for me in the Shrines....thank you!!!