reflections after 7 days

Wednesday already. Exactly one week since I arrived in Guayaquil. The days feel really rich here, and much longer than in New Zealand. It's the absorption period of course, everything is still really fresh and new, and the language difference definately takes it out of you. But I'm getting by. It feels like I've been here for a month already.

I was saying tonight at the dinner table how I feel like I have finally woken up from a big big sleep. And as most people saw me back in New Zealand, for the last 6 months since leaving China it has been a major transitional time for me, full of anxiety about the direction of my life, my career and priorities - the ususal mid-twenties crisis. And now, even though physically and materially it's tough here (the power tends to go on and off most nights, to get to any major shop takes awhile, and the town I'm living in is pretty poor, lots of rubbish on the sides of the roads, and stray dogs!) but I feel like a weight has dropped off my shoulders. I don't have to worry anymore. I can be in the present and be content. That's one of my 'goals' for this year. To be in the moment and not worry about the future like I have been doing...anyways...back to the moment...hehe

We experienced some big questions today, mainly around the collaborative nature of the project. Is it possible to make a film without one major 'director' as such? Where does the role of consulation come in when making a film? How is a Baha'i-inspired film project different? What are the expectations we have on each other and of ourselves?
At the end of the day, in any collaboration, a decision must be made, and stuck to, 100 percent, even if you were in the minority of the decision. It's in the unity and attitude of the team that counts and that will be reflected in the fina product.
We are also training up others from the community to perhaps run the project in the future or gain skills to start their own similiar project, so that also brings in different questions. How to make those who are training feel a part of the team? How much of the team decisions are they involved in? What are their interests? How can we help build their capacity?
Anyways these are some of the questions I'm mulling on...and many more.

I was asked a question tonight that I know I need to clear on, 'What are my expectations of this project, and of me?' I know this expectation thing can get in the way of the work and my purpose, so it's good that I get clear on it now so it doesn't block my view in the future...so i'm refecting on that. It's a bit blurry at the moment, i can't really pin point what my expectations are right now. maybe thats a good thing...

and another quote that i liked from today, the producer of the project said 'the key is to take advantage of your test'. We were talking about the difficulties that will inevitably arise from being a part of a grass-roots project like this, and in the arena of service, how we view and work with the challenges that will come.

ok enough for tonight. tomorrow is the last day of filming for 'Abuela o yo' (Grandma or me) Hilarious title! And it's turning out to be quite comical aswell as poignant, all about a young boy from this rural town, his desire to buy the latest sneakers (its all about having the latest shoes out here!) and his family's crisis with his grandma's health. We are working with the local doctor of the town playing the 'doctor' tomorrow, and an old lady from the corner store playing the grandma. I'm quite excited, i love working with 'non-actors', they bring a freshness to the work, and perhaps will allow us to get more in touch with the community.